Have you ever observed your child biting themselves?
You must have wondered, Why do kids bite themselves? Moreover, sometimes this child’s biting behavior becomes alarming for parents. However, it’s not always the case.
Oftentimes, self-biting in children is because of stress, anxiety, or any developmental phase requirements, not because of active/passive aggression towards others. Therefore, it is important to first understand why do kids bite themselves and then adopt a strategy to mitigate this behavior if required.
What Is Biting Behavior And How Can It Be Observed?
Biting behaviour in children refers to instances when a child deliberately uses their teeth to bite part of their own body (hands, arms, legs, cheeks) rather than someone else. It can range from light, repetitive nibbling to more forceful bites that bruise or break skin. Here’s how it often shows up:
- The child bites their own hands or arms, particularly during moments of distress or when nobody else is around.
- You might notice the child bites their cheek or lip when upset or quiet, perhaps when they can’t express what they feel.
- The biting occurs when the child is tired, overstimulated, or in a new environment, reflecting sensory overload or emotional stress.
- It may happen immediately after a trigger, for instance, when a toy is taken away, a sibling interrupts, or the child loses control of a situation.
- The child might bite themselves when angry or upset, especially if they don’t yet have the words or self-regulation skills; it can feel like a physical outlet when emotional regulation fails.
Major Reasons Why Kids Bite Themselves
Biting behavior in your little ones may have two major roots:
- It can be either because of emotional dysregulation,
- Or simply as a response to their age-specific developmental milestones.
- Frustration Or Anger:
Sometimes, when the child feels intense frustration but lacks the verbal skills to say that “I’m mad” or “help me”. The self-bite becomes an expression of that emotion, a physical way to “let it out”. And it’s a very natural way to express the frustration, often observed in toddlers who have not yet developed proper language or communication skills.
For example, when they can’t open a jar, hold a mushy toy, or do anything that requires constant effort.
- Sensory Regulation Overload:
Some children are especially sensitive to sights, sounds, or touch. When they feel overwhelmed, self-biting functions as a way to bring attention to a part of the body, generate input (pain/discomfort), and thereby regulate the sensory system. It ties into research on self-injury as a response to sensory dysregulation.
For example, if at a busy preschool activity, your child covers their ears, then begins biting their hand. One thing to focus on here is that, if your child shows extreme sensory disturbance/overload often, it is better to consult with a child psychologist for a better understanding. Because sometimes it’s an underlying condition paired with other symptoms that cause sensory overload responses.
- Attention-seeking:
Children who don’t yet have strong communication skills may resort to self-biting to get a reaction, “Look at me”, “Help me”, or “Stop that”. It becomes a bid for help when the words fail.
For example, a local preschooler in a toddler learning program in La Porte, TX, gets upset because the teacher is helping another child, then bites his arm until someone notices.
- Inability To Regulate Feelings/Emotions:
Emotional regulation develops slowly in early years. When a child’s internal engine (feelings) overwhelms their regulation capacity, self-biting may function as a way to modulate internal arousal, they’re not “acting out”, but rather acting on themselves.
For instance, if you constantly reject a child and say “no” to them, they will cry out and out of frustration of being rejected multiple times, they will start biting as a stress response.
- Habitual Or Coping Behavior:
Over time, self-biting can become a learned response to stress, even when the original trigger is removed. The behaviour persists because it “works” to reduce tension, even if temporarily. Research on self-injurious behaviour (SIB) highlights that children may repeat self-harm behaviours because they get some relief or sensory input from them.
If the biting behavior in your little ones is due to their age-specific developmental requirements, the reasons for biting behavior for them would be:
- Newborns To 12 Months:
- Teething
- Exploration of the mouth with different sensory objects
- To explore what happens if they bite themselves (curiosity)
- 12 To 24 Months:
- Frustration due to hunger or any other reason
- Attention seeking
- Overstimulation or tiredness
- 2 To 3 Years:
- Overstimulation due to strong emotions
- Want control in a social setting, such as with peers, friends, or siblings
- Inability to regulate their emotions
- 3 To 4 Years:
- Feelings of insecurity
- Struggle with forming friendships and secure social relationships
- Experiencing unpredictable, big changes at home or environment
- 4 To 6 Years:
- Stress or anxiety
- Sensory processing challenges
- Attention-seeking behavior
Predicting self‐injurious behavior at age three among children with autism spectrum disorder investigated early predictors of self-injurious behavior (SIB) in young children (including self-biting) and found that higher levels of frustration, lower communication ability, and sensory processing issues were significant predictors of SIB.
Read the full research article here: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/aur.2981
Reference: Dimian, A.F., et al. (2023). Predicting self-injurious behavior at age three among children with autism spectrum disorder. Autism Research.
Tips For Parents To Help Mitigate This Behaviour And Promote Emotional Understanding & Regulation
- Create a calm, predictable environment (when children know what’s coming, such as routines, transitions, they feel less anxious and thus less likely to bite)
- Help them label feelings (use simple words, such as “You look angry/upset/tired.” When you catch the moment before the bite, help them say, “I feel frustrated,” so you’re giving them emotional language)
- Teach alternative outlets (offer a squeeze-ball, a soft chew toy [if safe], or ask them to press their hand gently instead of biting, redirect the energy)
- Check sensory needs (if your child is overstimulated with lights, sounds, movement, provide a quiet area, softer lighting, or a sensory break. Prevent the “sensory dump” that leads to self-biting)
- Use positive reinforcement for regulation (when the child uses words “I’m upset” or uses a safe alternative instead of biting, praise the effort: “Great job telling me how you feel.”)
- Respond calmly and with empathy, not shame (if a child bites themselves, avoid harsh reactions or calling them “bad.” Instead, say: “You bit your arm because you felt overwhelmed. Let’s use our calm-down tool.”)
- Collaborate with caregivers and professionals if needed (if the behaviour continues, especially if it injures the child, seek consultation from a child psychologist who can assess triggers, functions of the behaviour, and design a plan)
Final Thoughts
When you ponder why do kids bite themselves, remember: it is rarely about “badness.” It’s more often about a child’s attempt to communicate, to self-soothe, to manage sensations or emotions they cannot yet handle. Understanding the “why” behind the behaviour opens the door to compassion, connection, and change. With consistency, sensitive support, and emotional coaching, children can be guided toward healthier ways of regulating themselves, expressing their needs, and feeling safe in their skin.